No Pank, No Drank

About a month ago, my fraternity hosted a party at our house called the "Pank Party" where everyone in attendance had to wear pink. The motto was "no pank, no drank". It was the go-to frat party of that night, and the place was packed to capacity 20 minutes after we opened the doors to the 'studious' students of our school. It was my turn to sober monitor at the party, so I have full recollection of all the mayhem that took place that night.

For the most part, the party ran smoothly. Until some girl decided to climb through a window to get into another small room of the house. Why she went, I have no idea. The only thing in there was a very old table. I say 'was' because as the drunken girl tried to hop over the window, she tripped and fell on top of the beer-soaked table, snapping it in half. As a sober monitor, it was my job to make sure everyone is safe, so I rushed over towards the window to see if she was ok. My unasked question of "Are you still alive?" was immediately answered, as the girl got up and started dancing on the window sill like the 'classy' girls from Deja Vu.

For bigger parties like that, we try to keep reckless insanity to a minimum. So that's all that happened, as far as destruction goes. I ended up spending most of my time monitoring the dance floor. Not too tough. Only thing I had to do was tell this one 7-foot monster to stop jumping up-and-down because he would break our house if he continued.

After that was taken care of, I continued to walk through the crowd, taking care of various small problems. There was one thing that kept happening every time I entered the mosh pit: girls kept grabbing my hand as I passed by, without even looking to see who I was. I have nothing against girls wanting to dance with a completely random guy. But if you're going to dance and possibly (and by 'possibly', I mean 'probably') make out with someone, you should have a look at them before you grab their hand. But I guess a lot of girls don't really care about that kind of stuff any more. As a girl named Carla, who I recently met, stated before we all went out together, "I just wanna make out tonight. I don't care who it is, or what he looks like. I just wanna make out."

That's why we are the Leaders and the Best.