"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."
Last night was fabulous. It's been a while since I have had a genuine good time. Though I had tendencies to be extremely awkward...it's often just enough to be in the presence of another person. You don't have to touch them or kiss them. Talking is enough. There is a moment that passes through the both of you, where there is a mutual understanding that you are not alone.
These past few weeks haven't been the easiest, and I would do anything for the hurt inside to dissipate. A lot of people say they want to get rid of pain. I'm sure that is true, but most aren't willing to make healing a priority. They aren't willing to look inside themselves to the see the true source of their pain, in order to deal with it.
It's finally come to that point that I begin to forgive those who have hurt me, in order to truly heal. Forgiveness doesn't erase a bitter past. A healed memory is not deleted one. Forgiving what we cannot forget creates a new way to remember. We change the way we look on the memories of our past, in hope for a better future. Holding resentment towards others binds you to that person with a link stronger than steel. Forgiveness is releasing a prisoner that you didn't know was yourself. Sincere forgiveness isn't colored with the expectation that the other person will apologize or change. You cannot worry yourself with whether or not they finally understand you. Love, and release them. Life will always feed back the truth to people in its own way, and time. You can forgive someone for almost anything. But you should not tolerate everything. Just because we forgive what people do, doesn't mean we have to tolerate it. Forgiveness heals us personally.
In a way, to forgive is only for the courageous. It is for those who are strong enough to confront their pain, and accept themselves as forever altered. I feel sorry for the numerous individuals who are satisfied to continue on with life resenting and hating people who have wronged them. Why? Because I know I have wronged people too, and I am thankful for those who have found it in their heart to forgive me. Those who cannot forgive broil in their own poison, and continuously contaminate the people that surround them. To be a forgiver on the other hand, they deny the possibility that their lives will be determined by the unjust actions of any person. Forgiveness is giving up that possibility for a better past.