Tuesday, May 25, 2010


It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now. 

No I don't. Yes I do. I don't know. I want more than anything to feel like I can call you, talk to you, text you, feel like you haven't just disappeared from my life. But at the same time I'm so angry. But at the same time I miss you. But at the same time I don't want to talk to you. But at the same time the only thing I want is to talk to you. 

It's like a drug. Not a good drug, a bad one. You become addicted to it. You know it's so bad for you but once you're addicted... you need it to function. It becomes apart of who you are, it tells you you don't deserve better. It wants you to need it. Then something happens that makes you want to quit.. and you do. But then, the withdrawals kick in. You want more than anything to kill the urge by using, and it would be so, so easy to. All you would have to do is just shoot up.. and the pain is gone. It would feel so good. But you fight it because you know it's for the best... and that you'll get your life back on track. The pain you have to endure now is only temporary. You suffer a little bit now, in order to feel better later.

But it sure would feel good, to feel good now.   

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