Breakdowns can inspire breakthroughs. It's hard to go to a house that is only half a home. Not having a concrete place to call home has made me feel very uncomfortable. I have started to develop feelings of over staying my welcome here with my grandparents. It is absolutely nothing that they are doing or saying, just an empty assumption I am making. I am not someone to consistently take from anyone. I just feel so out of place, but yet right at home. Right now this is all that I have that is consistent, but even it has its flaws.
It absolutely breaks my heart to see my parents in so much pain and discomfort. I wish I could just fix everything. It breaks my heart even more that it hurts them that I cannot stand to live with either of them. I wish I could, but I can't.
I can't believe how much I am like my sister. It's not even so much that we are exactly alike, we just have this understanding of each other that I have never experienced before. For once in my life, I feel like I am not an only child. She understands me, she loves me, and most importantly she accepts me. I am so sad to see her go on sunday.
To those who are struggling as much as I am with things, or with anything, hear me out:
The absolute truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, unwelcomed, or unfulfilled. It is only in such moments, ones that are provoked by discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our comfort zone and start searching for more productive ways and truer answers.